Relationship harmony comes from having the accompanying qualities :
A sense of respect for one another. Your partner ought to be able to give you the same respect he wants from you. This is honour for your identity, for your unequalled personality – your humour or the uncanny way you laugh. Likewise this means a sense of respect for your choices. Accepting your choices and comprehending it.
Simply put, mutual esteem in a relationship implies that you value each other’s differences and comprehend them, not attempt to alter the other individual’s personality.